I can hardly find good drinks to go with cigars.
As most of you know, that’s the second biggest factor for enjoyment.
However, I am too young to legally drink alcoholic beverages.
Anyone got any tips for some non-alcoholic beverage that won’t ruin my stick?

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I drink three cups of coffee every morning, and three diet pepsi’s every afternoon. If I don’t, I get tired and irritable.

I want to be able to enjoy one cup of coffee in the morning and one diet pepsi with lunch, and be done with it.

How can I accomplish this and not feel tired and irritable all the time?

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Seriously - I buy a caramel & chocolate latte every morning, and they’re like 5 bucks each. I love them, and feel I need them to have an enjoyable morning, but they’re costing me too much money. I’ve tried making regular coffee at home, but there’s something about driving through the coffee shop and drinking from a paper cup that has a wierd sort of charm. Any suggestions?

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Most alcoholics may have a clue about their problem but most are clueless. That is also the reason people who can be considered an alcoholic are not convinced about their needs to have an alcohol treatment. If you are one of those with a hint of the excessive drinking habit that you have but is not sure about needing an addiction recovery program, then you must know what kind of alcohol drinker you are based on the real meaning of the difference in the terms between alcohol abuse and alcoholism.

Not every person abusing alcohol can be considered an alcoholic. Surprising, right? It is true that the idea is confusing. However, it must be clear to you that both have the excessive alcohol use and it can be unhealthy. Either way alcohol treatment is a good idea for an alcohol abuser and an alcoholic for better health. Moreover, an addiction recovery program for better control of the alcohol temptation.

Alcohol abusers are the people who have the habit of taking alcohol. Most of these individuals can engage to excessive intake of alcohol without depending on the element. However, health and social problems could be more of a possibility. An alcohol treatment can be much effective and with fast and successful results for them because there is an absence of dependency in alcohol. On the other hand, an alcoholic is someone with a chronic disease already due to alcohol intake. This health condition will surely grow much worse due to the dependence of the individual on alcohol already. The individual has no more control over the addiction to alcohol affecting the physical and mental condition greatly. It is a huge need for any individual in this condition to be placed in an addiction recovery program as soon as possible as to avoid the worsening of the alcoholic state of the person.

There are many addiction recovery programs to save you or a loved one from alcohol abuse and the worst-case scenario of alcoholism. Effective alcohol treatments can be hard to achieve when the worst situation of alcoholism is reached, this is usually accompanied by anxiety and depression. Therefore, looking for the right recovery program is important to be able to handle the alcoholism and the effects that have developed with it in the individual’s mental state. Most alcohol treatments centers claim to have the ability for dual diagnosis, but you must be sure that they are licensed to do it for your safety and faster freedom from the alcoholism and its effects.

Nevertheless, there are addiction recovery programs that are really capable and licensed in the dual diagnosis, as well as the treatments that are necessary for the individual suffering from alcoholism. These are the centers with trained doctors to treat the causes of addiction. There has also been some concern for the women getting involved in the addiction to alcohol, in case you are a woman, there are centers with programs that can work especially for you and your needs of freedom from the alcohol addiction.

Also what are some quotes to help me overcome sex addiction, books, videos, websites? Thanks for your help

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This is not a disease that cuddling, warm blankets and pity will help! Addicts do, most often respond to kindness and understanding, when it is properly given or very often, administered by a professional care-giver, or another addict, hopefully in Recovery!

Stop giving in to your heart, at least the one that says openly, “I feel so sorry for you!” This is an invitation for disappointment and even worse, enabling. Most likely, you can’t help but feel sorry at times. But, every time you do anything that makes it easier, even temporarily, for an addict to carry on with their disease, you help the severity of the problem increase. Saying “no” is a good thing. Addicts try to avoid people who say “no”. They’re obsessed! They are acting “compulsively” or being true to the nature of addiction! There is a strong possibility that they are experiencing “craving”! Right now, you’re probably just a “resource”! Yeah, I know, “They might not even come around if I do that.” Well, are you going to keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result? There is no middle ground, here, you’re either a part of the solution or you’re part of the problem, period!

No matter what; Don’t give them money!!!

This is rule number one. It’s rule number two. It’s the rule of all rules… If you’re

thinking they need to eat something, feed them, right now. Don’t give them a few bucks for food. Don’t send them away with a bunch of food from your cupboards. Don’t take them shopping. Let them feel the effects of addiction.

Why we have to do things this way…

Doing these kind of things has effects that last and will come into their minds, later. Later, when you’re not around they’ll think, “Man, she wouldn’t even give me any food. Mom didn’t feed me! She must be getting’ really fed up with my Crap!” When they’re at your house, do they follow the rules or standards that are commonly accepted in your home? I doubt it! Do you sometimes feel better just because, “At least I know where they’re at and I know that they are safe?” What a false sense of security is this? The truth is, you’re being a kind of, sanctuary. They are living in a world that is, yes, dangerous, cold, and even cruel. If they are provided a “safe” place to hide from that, even temporarily, it provides a way to

regroup and go back out and “handle” their insane world. The sooner that life in addiction becomes unbearable, the better the chances are that they’ll consider the possibility that they may need help. Even if they know they need help, actually doing something can be almost impossible because of the craving and the defense mechanisms that they have learned, to be able to continue to practice the addiction. Addiction is like a dark being and it does not want to give them up. Most addicts endure unbelievable discomfort, conditions, and emotional sickness for a very long time before they can give in to the need for change in their lives. So… Don’t give them a place to stay.

So far, we don’t give them money, and…

We don’t give them a place to stay…

What’s next? We do not get into confrontations with them.

No, absolutely no, confrontation!

Do not get into confrontations with people. This is a pretty damned good idea for everyday life regarding everyone, isn’t it? You probably already conform to this with any other “sick” person. Well, guess what, you’re dealing with a sick person. This definitely is not the only reason, and it’s really not the most important reason. The most important reason is you. It’s you, because confrontation with an addict

by someone close to them is very seldom productive and results mostly in getting you upset more than it does them. This is about you, not them. Admit it! Doesn’t almost every confrontation that you have with someone close to you result in an aftermath? You made a fool of yourself. You hurt them. It was all a waste of breath. Now, you’re upset, shaking, mad, hurt, guilty, and sad and God only knows what pain you can bring upon yourself! If you have to turn around and walk away the instant you realize what you’re doing, then that’s what you have to

learn to do. It’s better if you can put a little of your feelings out there, though. Like maybe you could say, “I’m not going to let you do this. You are not going to ruin my day/life with your bull****!” Whatever it is, it must be controlled. You have to learn to always be the one who stays in control. You must do this for your own peace of mind, and to begin calming the chaos. Addiction brings chaos into lives. It’s one of the things that make you feel so helpless and hopeless. It doesn’t have to be that way. When you display self-discipline you begin role modeling.

This is a powerful “tool” in the kit for addiction.

The addicted mind uses any loss of control that you display as a jumping off point for rampant “ego defense”. Sigmund Freud identified these “ego defense mechanisms” in the beginnings of psychiatry. Some examples are denying, rationalizing, justifying, blaming, minimizing, bargaining and so on. They are normal psychological functions blown out of proportion. The addict uses these to be comfortable with the things they do that they know are wrong, but must do to keep using drugs. You already know that you do things wrong when strong

emotions take over. Usually the main thing with confrontation is ANGER. Anger produces even more problems for you because it usually elevates your blood pressure, increases you heart rate, and even can upset your stomach. I guarantee you these symptoms will be worse on you than the addict because they are going right back to the quest to appease that “craving”. In no time at all they’ll forget about you and what was said and go on about the business of taking care of their drug habit. They do not mean to be callous or mean or anything like that, they just do what addiction causes addicts to do. Don’t take it to heart. When the drugs go away, this is going to be one of their biggest problems, when it all sets in, about how they have done people… about how they have done the very people who they are going to need to battle the disease of addiction. The guilt and shame from this kind of thing is tough on recovering addicts, but it is also one of the strongest motivator for change. Everything in God’s world happens for a reason. You just

can’t always see it!

No money, no shelter, no confrontation. This is already a big order, especially when you really care about someone and it feels so mean to do this. It’s not mean if you’re not doing it to be mean, and only you really know why you do what you do. You can’t let what other people think stop you here. This is the correct way to handle this with the future in mind. You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it. Be careful, because it will bring so much relief to you that you just might start liking it too much.

I in no way want you to think that I am advocating the development of cruelty in your personality. I don’t want anyone to be mean. That’s not the idea. It may feel that way at first, and it’s OK, even good to question your motives and your feelings. Mean is not good. It never is. Once you establish parameters known as boundaries, for you and for the addict, positive interaction will begin to happen, or at least can begin to happen. It’s kind of like cutting out the BS!

Learning things for the sake of both you and them…

Almost anyone that is not an addict has a healthier mind than an addict. I guess that’s quite a statement but I believe it’s true.

Why? Are you sure?

Addicts become so possessed by the overwhelming obsession and compulsion to obtain the drug to appease the craving, that their behavior becomes almost subconsciously automatic. The “common” behavior displayed by addicts is some proof of this. Behavior has been observed over large numbers of addicts over long periods of time, now. We know that like any other disease, symptoms are predictable. So, as an educated professional in treatment of addiction to alcohol and other drugs, I hope that it will suffice with what you have previously read

here, to say that addiction is a very debilitating disease. What it does to those who suffer from it is absolutely heartbreaking. And, yes I have had to develop a very rational manner of looking at the addict. Rational, I say, but neither cold nor cruel. Just be very objective. This is the only thing that can save you and your addict. Try to see the reality of what is going on. The brain has been changed and it results in producing, a different person from before taking drugs, and moving into the state of, addiction.

The “Victims” of addiction often become very much in the same position as the addict that they are associated with. By this, I mean that both need help with their lives. The negative effects of addiction are as infectious as any virus. You cannot have addiction in your life without it taking a toll. But, with a little effort and the willingness to learn, these negative effects can be minimized. This EBook is a step in the right direction, and can help you very much, but human companionship has no substitute. It is not our nature, though society sometimes tries to convince us that this is not true, to be able to face life alone. I repeat, “It is not our nature to be able to face life alone!” There is nothing wrong with getting help. If you can do that, it’s one more way of role modeling for an addict, that they need not be alone in this fight for self preservation.

        Sexual addiction nearly killed me.  Because of the pain of childhood sexual abuse, I attached to the pleasure of masturbation.  It didn’t take long for me to develop a pattern:  any feeling of pain triggered a compulsion to seek sexual pleasure.  This constant pre-occupation with sex brought a lot of shame.  The shame drove me to strive to prove to others that I was okay.  The perfect student, a competent worker, a self-righteous minister… these identities must be maintained to cover the shame.  The exhaustion of maintaining these identities was pain which triggered more sexual activity.  Finally, in exhaustion, I attempted suicide because I was just too tired to keep going.  Sexual addiction nearly killed me. 

        Addiction begins because we seek balance in our lives.  Picture a man in rural India bringing water from a nearby river.  He has a bucket on the end of a pole and the pole over his shoulder.  He finds it impossible to keep the water steady and in the bucket while walking back to the village because the bucket is weighing him down on one side, he is not in balance.  The solution is to attach an equal size bucket to the other end of the pole creating balance. 

            In the same way, we seek emotional balance.  If we experience some trauma, pain or wound, we naturally seek some positive emotion that is equal in intensity to the negative emotion of the trauma or pain.  We may find that positive feeling in experimenting with drugs, drinking alcohol, throwing ourselves into work, eating ice cream, going on a shopping spree or acting out sexually.  The source of our positive emotion will depend on what is available to us, what is a part of our world at the time and what is easily accessible.  Because I had been sexually abused and knew the feeling of sexual climax, it was what I chose as my source of pleasure. 

            The power of the addiction finds its source in our need to be in balance emotionally.  The pain that we have experienced drives us toward pleasure.  Once we experience the pleasure, we attach ourselves to it.  Whenever we are triggered by pain, we seek the positive feeling of our addiction.  Very soon the pattern becomes almost involuntary and our attachment to the positive feeling keeps us going back for more.  We have now developed an addiction.

            It is important to mention here that this pattern is often driven chemically as well as emotionally.  Because our emotions are affected by our hormones, the presence of alcohol, drugs or the adrenaline of a pleasurable experience can help us turn the corner from feeling depressed and down to feeling joyful and happy.  We quickly learn what we must do to trigger this chemically induced “high”. 

            Since this attachment is the beginning of addiction, it is also the key to overcoming addiction.  Some people attack their addiction by using accountability or “tough love” to help them stop whatever the addictive activity is.  The problem with this approach is that it does not address what drives the addiction; the pain.  In fact, the pain of giving up our addictive pattern usually makes our desire for our attachment even stronger.  One of two things usually happens; either we go back to the addiction or we simply change to another attachment.  I have seen alcoholics become chain smokers, chain smokers become over-eaters and over-eaters become gym rats!  I can’t tell you how many times I promised to “quit” and how many other things I attached to in the process (affirmation, church, massage, food, etc.,).

            True freedom from an addictive pattern can only be found when we effectively deal with the pain which lead to the initial attachment.  Finding healing and resolution for our pain through therapy, forgiveness, and positive relationships can reduce the inner drive for the attachment to the source of our pleasure.  We cannot change the events of our past which led to our pain, but we can learn to release the power of that pain so that it no longer drives us toward addiction.  Going back to the picture of the man from India, if  we can take some water out of the first bucket, we can reduce the need for the second bucket.  This is true recovery.

            Here is the good news, Jesus Christ came to give us life (John 10:10).  He does this by “cleansing us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9) and “healing” us (Isaiah 53:5).  He didn’t come to set up a system of rules and regulations (religion), He came to give us a whole new identity (II Corinthians 5:17) and walk with us as His children in relationship (Ephesians 1:3-5).  In other words, Jesus came to empty the bucket of our pain and set us completely free from the burden we have been carrying!  Jesus’ promise to use His truth to “set us free” (John 8:32) includes freedom from addiction!

            This relationship with Jesus requires repentance (changing the way we think) and faith (believing a new truth).  We must abandon all of our “self-effort” and “striving” to overcome the addiction and believe that the sacrifice of Christ on the cross forgives all of our sin and connects us to the Father (John 14:6) in a relationship of life!